Cats Look NOTHING Like Dolphins – Customer Feedback


We are coming to an Apex in society.  I’m a firm believer in that poor habits don’t change until the masses have had enough and their anger explodes into awesome reviews or they get so fed up with bullshit that the release is inevitable.

…and it’s awesome to watch.  Poor customer service eventually promotes lashing out – even over dolphins and cats.  This is a response to an Amazon.com seller that confused a cat ring-holder with a statue of a dolphin.  Like it or not, we’ve all been there.

Order ID 108-6977014-26xxxxx:
1 of JEWELRY RING HOLDER. HOME & OFFICE DECOR. GIFT IDEA. METAL MAT’L. CAT DESIGN [ASIN: B00BVT59DW]

————- Begin message ————-

I’m wondering how I give you $22 and you send me a damn dolphin instead of a cat.  This isn’t rocket science.

Just so you’re aware, I have a little girl that loves cats and this was for her for Christmas. I would think being a business with sales that you wouldn’t be so inept at reading the order that plainly states “METAL MAT’L CAT DESIGN” and interpret that as “I guess a dolphin works”.  This seems like it should be an extremely important part of your service – the transaction.

There is no way I’ll be able to get the cat by Christmas and as far as I’m concerned you stole $22 from me seeing as I have no use whatsoever for a pewter dolphin or whatever the hell it’s made out of.

If you’re still having trouble understanding how pissed off I am, give your kids salt pills when they ask for playstations or bikes.  The correlation being that they would have absolutely no use for salt pills.  After they open them, focus on the look on their face and realize that it’s the same look I’m dealing with at the moment…but don’t worry, you can always tell them, “eh, well, close enough” then rub the salt in their emotional wounds.  Little girls get broken hearts over the smallest things, so thanks for that…I’m now the dad that doesn’t “know the difference between a fish and a cat” you assholes.

My only joy is using this dolphin as an example of incompetence that seems to be oozing over each new generation.  I may be going overboard, but I still can’t seem to fathom how you screw up the 3-second transaction of looking at the order that cleary states “Cat”, picking up a box and seeing a dolphin, then thinking you’re good and you did a job well-done.  Or maybe that didn’t happen, maybe you just grabbed whatever the hell was closest…I don’t know. Or maybe even a third and more abysmal option – you actually think a dolphin IS a cat, in which case I hope you don’t work part time at an animal shelter.  Cats being thrown into salt water to be set free – while incomprehensible to me – would more than likely seem like “the thing to do” for you.

Yes, yes, I understand that accidents happen, but that’s not what this is.  This is a complete and utter meltdown of quality, assurance and customer importance.  To be honest, I wouldn’t be going off as much as I am if not for the unfortunate timing of the unwrapping of your dolphin.  As it were, this was the third time today that I experienced someone that confuses the masses on how they’re even able to wake up on their own or talk to themselves without and interpreter.

I’m not sending the dolphin back out of fear that you will royally screw up sending the cat..let alone a refund.  It will only serve to make me think to myself, “you have GOT to be shitting me” while racking my brain in search of answers…which I don’t think I’m mentally able to handle at this point…so no worries there, you won’t have to confuse yourself on how to do some sort of return order.

Attached is the picture of the dolphin for proof that you are again, on the same level as Bigfoot and the Chupacabra as anomalies in evolution and possibly even existence.  Also, in case you’re unable to read the return information, here is proof I ordered the cat:

108-6977014-2612265
1 of JEWELRY RING HOLDER. HOME & OFFICE DECOR. GIFT IDEA. METAL MAT’L. CAT DESIGN

Which you incorrectly read as:

108-6977014-2612265
1 of DOLPHIN DOLPHIN HOLDER, HOME & OFFICE DOLPHIN. GIFT IDEA. FUCK IT GIVE HIM A DOLPHIN

scott vincent nuclearchainsaw dolphin statue review

Merry Christmas and Holy shit.

~Scott

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Categories: EVERYTHING (in no particular order), Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. Damn dolphin derelicts

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